It's really up to each person's own values and morals, so I'll stay out of that part of the argument. But from a practical, DBing standpoint, it's a physiological fact that you can't properly open yourself up to giving (or receiving) your spouse's emotional needs when you're infatuated with someone else. If Sophie's been dating this guy while she's been here, trying to DB, then it's pretty much a waste of everyone's time.
