Does anyone have any advice for what to do when starting a new relationship after a divorce?
I have to admit I haven't read your previous threads and you don't have a sig so I don't have much frame of reference. But as someone who's dating again I would say if you have to ask for advice it might be too soon. If you feel confident on your own and trust yourself enough to not get "caught up" in giddy new love feelings, become codependant, jump in without knowing someone then you're ready.
There's a few things in your post in that stuck out at me:
[/quote]his desire to actually talk to me and know what I'm thinking and appreciate my opinions and feelings. I don't always feel like everything I say or do is wrong or stupid. [/quote] It sounds like you've had a rough time and for whatever reason you felt that you weren't appreciated, listened to or worthy of that. I was pretty insecure too and I used to look for validation in relationships and attention from men. Even walking into a room and having men look at me made me feel confident. I took the time to appreciate myself and fill that void outside of relationships.
If I had a wish for you it would be that you would choose to take some time out for YOU and work on YOURSELF. It's not the easy thing but it's worth it. If you spend the time looking at why you feel that you'll be rejected or aren't worthy of love (that's where that ruin feeling comes from...always waiting for the other shoe to drop because surely someone can't want to be with you and not be slightly screwed up LOL) and take the time to feel loved and appreciated and valuable it would make the world of difference.
You say that you're off to college and you're really excited about that. It will be great for you, but I think it would be a hundred million times better for you to truly do that on your own and not with the help of a new partner.
Many people go from one relationship to the next. Some repeat the same mistakes, some are happy with not being fully able to trust or love. If you take some time to be still and work on you it'll be worth it. I would never say when is the right time or the wrong time, I just think from your post there are some things that tell me you would have a HAPPIER relationship if you worked on your for a bit. Time actually means nothing. If you waited 5 years but didn't look internally it wouldn't matter at all. You have to want to be a more independent partner in your relationship, and then you'd know without a shadow of a doubt that you're not going to make the same mistakes.
Good luck! I hope this doesn't come off like a 2x4 because it's not meant to be!
