C2H : I hope you enjoy Canada (my home and native land)! I also hope the vacation truly DOES give you a new attitude. As your thread suggests - but not what we're reading.
You have to accept this new situation - it IS what it IS. You are divorced. Ex can be with whoever she wishes to be with you. Just as you can date. But instead - you focus on this guy and how much you don't want to see him, talk about him etc - to the point your kids have to pussyfoot around you. It is only going to get worse until you let go and focus on your own life.
And it might mean more counselling. In fact - after all this time of being angry - it does mean it will take more counselling. Or just some time away from it all to think. And refocus.
My best times to refocus my own thinking have been on vacation. And in God's Glorious country of Canada - I hope that is just what you do.
