I feel for you. My H had (no clue if it's done)an EA+ (they say kissing but no SEX) with a close family friend. We and this other family were very close and I wrongly assumed that something like this would never happen, I felt completely safe with them and the thought never entered my mind. At this point, a little more than 6 months after the BOMB I've come to terms with my roll in all of this and what lead my H down the path that ended in the EA+ but for the life of me I still have a hard time with the betrayal of my friend, the OW. We have know each other for 15yrs. Watched each others children grow, spent vacation time together, we all considered each other family. I'm so confused by their actions how could they do this to our children how could they do this to our families.
Although my H and I are still married we are separated. He hasn't asked for a divorce and says the EA+ is over. I don't know if it's true or not. I still love my H and feel foolish and pathetic because I want to fix this. I want to have a happy intact family. I don't want my S to suffer now or in the future because for our idiocy.
I don't know what I would do if it turns out that my H and the OW end up together. I don't want her anywhere near him, I don't want my S the think what they did was acceptable. I hate this woman with a passion and the disappointment I would have in my H would be almost unbearable.
Paranoid thoughts creep in all the time things like; I don't know where he is, is he with her? I know she's moved out and so has he are they meeting this weekend because no one is keeping tabs? If they are together what are they doing? Why would he/they continue this path? Why would he give up time with our S, how could that even be a choice? It's beyond comprehension sometimes. I have to fight them back or "detach". I can do nothing to change him or what he is doing or will do. All I can do is try to make myself better and live my life for myself and our S.
I've done tons of reading and it has helped. This site has been extremely helpful so far. I've read a lot of the threads here they have helped me gain perspective. Keep coming here, listen to the vets. Best of luck to you, I'll be following your thread.
lillystillinlove M:43 H:49 T:17 M:16 S:6 Bomb: 1/27/12 EA+ with close married family friend / ILYBINILWY H moved out 7/27/12 H is Extremely angry, stressed and unable to forgive