One thing that someone pointed out to me this week might help you out as well. She is just as confused as you are. She may be confused about different things and she may be doing a better job of hiding it but her emotions and confusion is just as real and just as deep as yours. My dad was a sailor and he told me that sometimes you just have to roll with the storm.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
I just don't want her friend filling her head with BS like OM did 4 years ago
Again, something I can't control
Exactly, you can't control it so stop worrying about it. (Again I get the irony in me saying this). There is only one thing that you can control and that is you.
Tell me, what is one thing that you would like to accomplish in the next year that has nothing to do with your W and your D? What is one thing positive thing that you want to do with your life that is only for you?
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
Also, what about longer term goal? What would you like to have accomplished in five years? What about ten years? They say that life is what happens when you are making other plans, but if you put off making plans because you are waiting for life to happen then you are cheating yourself and holding yourself hostage to your problems. (And I should make a note to tell myself that once in a while.)
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
I'd like to get promoted at my current job, but that takes time, and they'd be small incremental raises. I could get a higher paying job in the area I move to after my wife graduates and gets a job. Or get one here if I don't.
As for kids and guitar, patience and hard work. Kids want to spend less time with their old man the older they get
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
I'm not much of a planner though. Never have been. In my experience, whenever I make plans, someone or something throws a wrench in them (sickness, finances, OM etc...)
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
I'm not much of a planner though. Never have been. In my experience, whenever I make plans, someone or something throws a wrench in them (sickness, finances, OM etc...)
Good plans should have contingency plans within them.
I know that this may be hard to hear, and it is something that I still struggle to accept, but as long as there is anger and there is sadness, and there is unhappiness then there is still love. All of these negative emotions, while not good for your relationship, are indicators that he/she still has feelings for you. It is when they stop having any kind of reaction to you at all that you should worry. Your job (and mine) is not to change how they feel but to change how we deal with our spouse and improve ourselves. Make your 180s and stick to them. This time is about you and making you into the person YOU want to be. [/quote]
Very good perspective. I really needed to read this today. Thank you!
That could be a good 180 to work on. It could be that while you view this attitude as pragmatic your W views it as indecisive and that could be a turn off for her. Just remember to start small.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
