I am sorry you are struggling right now..sometimes you can't "force" it, you just have to keep feeling through your feelings until they run their course. During all this we have to push feelings aside to not do more damage at the moment, but eventually those pushed aside feelings will arise and demand being dealt with, on their terms and their time. I have been fighting resentment and anger this past week, all stuff pushed aside last fall/winter...it wants its due...I am with ya. Have you tried the "Be still and know" meditation for PTSD vets? Google it if you haven't.
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but because my W couldn't see through her MLC to notice what she's done/doing to them and chose to leave instead.
They can't, RT...they just can't, until they have run their course and are ready. And even then, it may be too late, or too much guilt, and they run again. It is a crisis, they are doing the only things they can think of to escape the turmoil and pain inside, wrong as it is. Find your compassion RT, I think of my W as being mentally ill last summer/fall/winter/spring, and trying to recover from it now...she has given me glimpses into what is going on...compassion is my way to peace, which I need so I can be the best for my kids...you know exactly what I mean, you have written it.
Time, patience, and compassion my friend, for W, your sons, and for YOURSELF.
It will come when it comes.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
