Hi LaBug - sorry that you're feeling tired and down. I've notice my feelings cycle around, sometimes really angry, sometimes this faithful love, sometimes apathy, and sometimes why don't we just get this over with.

I don't know how long standing without progress makes sense, but it's a very personal decision and different for each of us. I don't know how long it's fair to yourself to sustain yourself with tiny crumbs of affection or even civility. I don't know enough about depression to know if your H is going to wake up without some impetus.

You've put all this time to great use, and knowing you if you put more time into it you'll reach ever higher levels of awareness and understanding. You don't have to decide anything right this minute.

Maybe the stress of traveling has you a bit down? Do something special to take care of yourself, and hang in there, and keep journaling. We'll be here for you no matter what!

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.