Hola! So I was your W. Not really I'm not your W. But I was in a sense. All of that happened with us. The difference? When he had his wake up call and decided to not be whiny and depressed and lazy and unhappy and sad and miserable he met someone else and didn't want to give us a second chance. Maybe he would have if he hadn't had such a hard time before that when I was a WAW or if he didn't meet someone or whatever we'll never know. But you're in a fantastic position. You've had the wake up call relatively early and you're in a place to get great insight.
What made me turn around rather than continue walking away is that he stopped all that puppy dog following me around. This man seemed to swing from being emotionally unavailable to emotionally draining. And when he stopped asking me what to wear, what to watch on telly, what do in general or tell me all of his whereabouts it was weird. My opinion my voice didn't matter and all those reasons I had for walking away weren't there. Maybe he wasn't the guy who'd decided to be an old man in our 30s maybe I didn't have him all figured out...maybe he could be that person I fell in love with.
So when she gets upset that you're doing it now and not before that's a GREAT thing. It's upsetting her and she'll wonder why it's upsetting her and she may "act out" more just to prove that it's not upsetting her. But if you can continue to grow, become independent, take care of yourself, look amazing, and be detached from her she'll totally want you back!
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congratulated her on her new teaching position, Wished her a Happy B-Day, & even managed to make her laugh a little with some off-beat humor like I used to do. I took that as a good interaction so I immediately got in my truck to break off the convo 1st, then waited in my truck for her to hug kids & say bye. I am not sure if this is considered a small step, but I would definitely say it was the 1st interaction we have had in a very long time without her yelling at me or any tension.
Good job...next time don't congratulate her. I know it's sounds mean. Think of yourself as Danny Zucco in Grease LOL
Post here often just to vent if you need to. And I like your attitude of not caring if there's an OM. Don't care in the sense of it not affecting how you act and you're not trying to find out. Keep the focus on your relationship with yourself and your kids.
