1. try posting your angry thought here just list all the zingers. It may help you lose interest in expressing them directly to him.
2. Every time I read about your H the thought that just keeps popping up in my head is he just was to f some 22 year old for a couple months once he feels like a man again cause he is with a hot young woman he will want a R with his life partner & the mother of his children again.
I dont see your H at all being honest with himself about what is going on. He is totally gaslighting and blaming you for Everything and not taking resposnbility for his own feelings. Also not even recognizing his true thoughts, total denial. He has done no work on himself this year he has just hidden in a bubble with his ears closed.
3. I went to family c not not my IC with my H to discuss helping our D adjust. She told my H all the things I needed him to hear about what he was doing to the family in a straight forwarded non judgementally way that I wasnt able to do. She said things like "children will always want their parents to be together". She got him to agree that we should not be introducing our children to any significant others until we were very serious.
4. You will have other opportunities to express to your H family that you do not want a D. I liked your T suggestion and you should keep it in mind the next time the opportunity arises. I am quite certain most of the woman in his family do not think you are happy about this.
5. Dont worry about when or where he will change his mind. You have done a great job GALing and doing meet up groups, hiking etc. Keep the focus on you not on the wacko.
6. I dont like the use of the word denial in your response to your H. Maybe you can just say "Once we have 2 seperate accounts my income will be abc and my expenses will be xyz" I think the word denial reflects judgement.
You are doing an amazing job. Taking the high ground is the only path that can work. Unfortunately you are carrying the load until he sees the light. Be an example to your kids as you have been.
hugs
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
