14 Months Secret Separation: talking mediation

[adinva]

Thanks, LaBug, Cadet and Rick! LaBug, I'll go read your post next. Cadet and Rick, I'm glad to hear it's normal to be angry - it sure feels normal to me. But it's not how I want to be. I want to be the actor in my life and not a ball of wimpering reaction.

I'd like an EASY button anyway, maybe I'll go get one just for fun. Court date? THAT was easy. Sign papers? THAT was easy. JK, none of this is easy.

LaBug, I'll keep thinking but I remember she said pick a time when you have a good chance of being heard and when it makes sense with regard to what you're hoping to get out of saying something. Her example was in response to my frustration that h often says how I'm not taking a financial hit and how the kids and I will be fine. I feel outraged and angry every time he says it. If he says it again I may be prepared at that time to say xyz. The therapists' words started with "H, I think you are in DENIAL about what this situation is doing to us financially." It went on from there and each point was rational, no inflammatory words, nothing untrue or exaggerated. No zingers. Just a very rational statement that would not make him angry, because his anger would be detrimental to my cause, but to give him my perspective as it differs from his.