Hi Bug, I'm a fixer too and my H loved to be rescued. From his mum to his ex to me to his now current GF.
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Maybe my interference kept him from gaining that skill.
don't take on his short comings. How many skills have we had to learn since separation? How many skills have we chosen to learn since then to become a fuller, happier, more balanced person? LOADS. everyday we come here and talk about our growth. You more than anyone on this board I think does such a great job of reflecting in how far you've come and your desire to go further and learn more. I had to accept that some people don't want to change. I don't think my H enjoys having people fix his life he feels inadequate and yet he keeps doing it but that's his choice.
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but to not try seems so crazy.
I wrestled quite a bit with whether my desire to piece was down wanting to try to make it work out of obligation and loyalty to the marriage or because I'm in love with him. It does seem crazy not try...especially because we're fixers. In my mind anything can be fixed. People who say that something's impossible are quitters. i love a challenge. I love defying stereotypes and statistics. I'm in the "how can we" group whereas H was always in the "that's never going to work so why try"
Focus on you and work on not giving that black dog a visit at your house! LOL Big hugs I know you'll come out okay. I really do have faith in you!
