Hey everyone. It has been a little while since I've posted here, but here I am! This week, the divorce papers are going to be submitted and I am going to be done with the husband for good. I haven't had any contact with him, really, other than logistics.
I have been very happily seeing an old friend (dating him, if you will) and never thought that this kind of happiness would be possible. The best thing about it is his desire to actually talk to me and know what I'm thinking and appreciate my opinions and feelings. I don't always feel like everything I say or do is wrong or stupid. Now, my struggle is not making the same mistakes in this relationship because I've acted, felt, been a certain way for the past four years and it certainly is a challenge.
Does anyone have any advice for what to do when starting a new relationship after a divorce? A lot of people have told me it's "too soon" but I feel comfortable with it and I am taking it slowly.
I find myself always assuming things that are not necessarily the case, based on what I anticipated my ex-husband intended in the past. I think that's the hardest part, because there are things we don't yet know about each other, which is exciting but also scary because one doesn't always know how the other is going to react. We've had great success with being open and always communicating with one another, which I appreciate so much, but sometimes there's a misstep and I get worried that I'm going to "ruin" something.
One thing I am looking forward to greatly is that we're both going back to school together in the Fall and I love being able to share that with someone. Again, this is something new to me. My ex-husband never participated in the things I enjoyed and I love learning new things and being able to share that with someone.
Relationships aside, I feel more confident. Even if things don't work out with this particular guy, I will be more educated, I will have more money saved up, I will have stayed in contact with my friends. I finally feel like I'm in a relationship which ENHANCES my life. It's such a weird and new feeling. It's little things like us hanging out with mutual friends that makes it even better... again, I can't stress enough how constrained I felt beforehand and how free and happy I feel now.
I know a lot of "experts" say that if you are comparing your new relationship to your old one, you're probably not ready. Obviously everyone is going to make the comparison, but, anyway, I just wanted to share.
