can Turtles still stand?

[zig]

KD - that was a brilliant post and timely, once again.

I'm see this pattern here, that just when i start to "explore" something, you pop up and post so clearly about it.

I started to think about that since our last convo, as well as the one on the interpretations thread. and am in the throes of realizing that all along i was "moving forward" and then suddenly in the last few days - triggered by h's wanting to start the D, veered off into "moving on".

now, i'm working on getting back to where i was - "moving forward"

i was also very interested in what you wrote about betrayal - an dhow it comes in many forms, - and i suddenly saw how clearly h fet betrayed when i "left" psychologically and emotionally.

alos we both felt betrayed by each other in the first years, as neither of us were the person the other one expected to be.

i know veering off a bit. but it's important for me to understand the deeper underlying feelings behind h's actions - i can feel how the betrayal feels to ME, but to understand that he may feel the same is a bit of an eye-opener.

and here's a somewhat odd thought, but i'll throw it out there anyway - it just popped into my mind - could h feel a certain amount of additional betrayal after BD, because I didn't react as he expected me to? i sort of let him down there in a way also - he was literally banking on me being the old zig and losing it and accusing and criticizing him. I didn't do it once (well, ok once - when i realized that he slept with me after being with ow and didn't use protection - then i really lost it)

for the first 6 months he brought up continuously, almost groaning it out - why can't you just get angry so that it's easy for me to leave?

i'm still mulling over that post and how i should answer it.

a question - am i supposed to describe how h and i could be if we got back together?

also KD i do have a question for you. Bond asked me some questions - which i replied to on the bootcamp thread .no answer from him, but then instead the strangest most unexpected one from sgctox, which sort of threw me a bit.

what's going on with that? i don't really understand it - can you explain? where that is coming from?

hope you are well - i am going to sit and do my homework now

hope you are having a shiny day KD - you know the type that just has a silver edge around it for no particular reason

((((((( )))))))
zig