You are spot on about me pursuing! I did everything that the book & ya'll advise against for the last 5 months...You see where that got me I have started the 180's & LRT with zero pursuit. I am not sure how long it will take & as you guys have said, we need to look for small strides. It is way early in the process, so I just need to keep trucking along & analyze what works & what doesn't. I haven't said I Love you or had R talk with her in over 2 weeks...Yay me! It is definitely hard, but I have noticed it has given me a little sense of calm.
This last Wednesday she came by in the morning to say good bye to the kids & wish them a good 1st day. I briefly interacted with her, congratulated her on her new teaching position, Wished her a Happy B-Day, & even managed to make her laugh a little with some off-beat humor like I used to do. I took that as a good interaction so I immediately got in my truck to break off the convo 1st, then waited in my truck for her to hug kids & say bye. I am not sure if this is considered a small step, but I would definitely say it was the 1st interaction we have had in a very long time without her yelling at me or any tension.
Denver,
I have often thought about those as my 2 options as well. I feel that I should hang onto the paperwork as long as possible too (don't want to give in either) & let her bring it up to me. She has made reference to the kids when they are with her (especially) daughter, that she does not want this dragged through the courts. But as I have learned: Believe nothing that they say & half of what they do!
I really don't have the $$ for an attorney, but have consulted with one just in case I end up needing one. My Son (7) asked me the other day while getting ready for school, "What would happen if you just shred the paperwork Daddy"? Then he stated very firmly, "Do not sign it Daddy"! In which my daughter seconded his opinion...LoL
I definitely have to use my time wisely & remember to stick to DBing. I do stress about backslides because I know that they will happen, but as you guys have stated: Learn, Pick yourself up, & move forth.
I have started the 180's & LRT with zero pursuit. I am not sure how long it will take & as you guys have said, we need to look for small strides. It is way early in the process, so I just need to keep trucking along & analyze what works & what doesn't. I haven't said I Love you or had R talk with her in over 2 weeks...Yay me! It is definitely hard, but I have noticed it has given me a little sense of calm.