Lots of questions and a good deal of doubt.

[mshaf]

Thank you everyone for your advice!

I really expected the idea to get shot down.

Advina: I think you are right. Maybe if I act more upbeat I might be more attractive to be around. The hard part, I think, is not coming across as fake. I have always played things close to the chest. So, I guess I need to make sure I don't overdue it. I will be very excited when I get to see my boys again so I need to just stick with that and not be afraid to show my W some attention also. And, if I act happy maybe one day I can actually achieve true happiness. Fake it to you make it, right?

Cadet: No expectations! So easy to say but harder to put into practice. I thought I might just see if I can change the dynamic a little. I think W expects me to be distant, dark, because that is the way I have acted over the last year and a half. So I will try something out of my "norm". BTW, the coffee comment made me laugh. I needed that last night.

Veroprado: I have been worried about no contact putting more distance between us rather than bringing us back together. For me it seems like more of the same. I have always been a private person, even in my M. A good 180 for me might be to be more open. The only reason I haven't done this is because I don't want W to consider it pursuing.

Thank you for reminding me to have patience. That is one thing I need to do a lot of work on. I can't expect a favorable response just because I act "as if" once. I like the idea of no response being a positive interaction. If that holds true I am doing great so far.

So I will see what happens tomorrow and report back. Hopefully with a little time I can check my "5 minutes of pleasant conversation" goal off. If not, what is the worst that can happen? She can't leave twice.

Thanks to everyone again. The fact that you took time to comment made me feel a lot less alone.