WHile they were together in the foreign country supposedly having such a magical time, every night and many mornings he was on the computer talking with me, telling me how much he missed me for hours. She was clearly there, watching him do this, was angry, wanted to go out and such, and he just seems to have refused, even changing his schedule which changed hers to accommodate mine. He talks about me to her so much, and now his messages to her are rather short and have lost much of the sexual quality they had for a bit(he did not even want to hear about the dream she had of him-just ignored that!!), but he still talks with her nightly when she calls him except when we are together.
For months now he has been the one to always contact me and has done so on a daily basis until these last few days when I have refused him, and the manic behavior has escalated in leaps and bounds.
In the first paragraph in above quote you must realize that YOU are the OW as he is with her talking to YOU. So she has taken on YOUR role and the only way for him to face himself is for you to stop enabling him. The OW has choices to stop. They choose not too. What are you choosing?
In the second paragraph he is showing clear signs of clinging boomerang and of course when you stop your enabling he is panicking. - GOOD!
Things do not get better in MLC until they get worse.
Trying to avoid the deep dark hole of depression is part of REPLAY. The sooner that they slip into it the better chance that they may be able to claw their way out.
