Fish are friends. Not food.

[Underdog]

Opt--you are so good at this you scare me! I need to step off the podium of my 12 step program and let you have the reins for a bit! Hey, remember me? Bruce?

Well, the most peculiar thing happened a little while ago.

I was sitting here, minding my own business, when our combative janitor walked in. He gave me an invoice for a full month of services, when he took off on vacation for 2 weeks over the holiday. His backup was a no-show (who went on a drinking binge and has yet to come home to his W).

Well, I told him I had a tough time paying a bill for a month of full services when I played janitor while he was gone. Yes, yours truly dumped the trash every day, swept up outside and replaced toilet paper rolls.

Well the nerve of this little jackass--who then sparked a feeding frenzy in my office. He told me I did a crappy job! Then he complained that I had not refilled the deodorizers in the rest rooms! WTF?

Then he snottily informs me that we have a homeless person camping out in our motor home out back. AHA! See, I didn't forget to lock the damn door!

I called Mr. Wonderful to tell him about our non-revenue producing renter and he then heard my boss and colleague in an argument with our janitor. Damn, I felt validated. My janitorial services do NOT suck--and I didn't even get paid for them!

Anyway, Mr. W. heard the convo (because I put it on speakerphone) and started laughing... and I mean really hard. This conversation was a doozy (just ask Triple J, who was on a chat with me while this went down--he was laughing).

I haven't heard him laugh so hard since he left. (I miss that guy.) We discussed logistics of coming to get the thing off the lot... mainly, Mr. W. needs to bring a vacuum because it was broken into a few months ago and he's afraid of getting hemmorhoids if he doesn't! (Glass remnants are still on the seats.)

After the bizarre exchange of words with our more-than-bizarre janitor, Mr. Wondeful called back, disguising his voice as a homeless person wanting to come live in the motor home. Hey, did he get a memo reminding him to be funny? Did the full moon over the weekend get to him and our janitor or what?

To say he was jovial would be a major understatement. Who'd have figured that such an odd incident would make him feel inclined to make me laugh? This is indeed odd alien behavior. Not to mention the fact that I'm not altogether too happy at the thought of sleeping in the bed in the motor home right now...

And once he found out that I have steak on the menu for tonight, he was VERY happy. Maybe I won't be eating fish for awhile... at least that look like Mr. W. Maybe the janitor, though.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...