I'm a woman with a long DB history and a bit of emotions played out in the early days, that Michele helped me with.
One of the last things you EVER want to do is read a woman's diary. You cannot take every word seriously. We play with every random thought. Not to discount your wife. But please don't work with the past. Work with the future.
Michele personally gave me a LOT of advice in the early days. Most of it was around reigning (sp?) in my inner thoughts/emotions relative to my interactions with my then boyfriend (2 relationships after my divorce) and he is my current partner, and we are happier than ever, 11 years later. A DB homegrown relationship, so to speak.
I've observed you from time to time. You've got this.
ACTIONS. Not every thought or feeling or discussion or emotion.
WHAT SHOULD BE YOUR FOCUS NOW???? REAL GIVING....WITHOUT A DOUBT AND UNEQUIVOCABLY....MAKE YOUR WIFE HAPPY.
This is not about setting, affirming boundaries. I assure you that you have your stance better than some that give you advice. Now is the time to learn about what makes her happy and give it with abandon. That's what my partner does. And it's what I am trying to do for him.
You will come through. You will be that really old-ass couple where you were thesuccessful lawyer hot shot and she was the hot ass singer chick..... but now, she's still hot and you follow her around in the belize grocery store carrying her goods and you go back to your place and you chill....and she makes you happy because she's so happy that you have her back.
YOU are the HERO here.
Batman or Robin. You are the hero.
One of your ACTIONS should be listening to your wife. But you are not in the phase of trying to figure out how to be better than the OM. You've GOT THAT.
Now--
You are going into the realm some DBers NEVER GET TO. The real [censored] of piecing...and THEN.... KEEPING THE CHANGES GOING.
You are counting on YOU. Your WIFE is COUNTING ON YOU. We all are counting on you.
But you are capable. Better than that, you will deliver the goods.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
