New to DB

[Arsene]

BTW. If you read my sitch, you'll see that I was not fairing much better not too long ago. It's what I've been advised to do by almost every one and I have to admit that for now, it's probably the best thing to do, not easy but then again, nothing is these days.

Stay strong,

Arsene

[mamabird]

Have a great time in DC! Hopefully this will be the start to you getting your happy back.

The Laura Munson book I told you about arrived today and I'm looking forward to reading it. Maybe she can offer some inspiration about how to move forward!

[hopefulinga]

You are right, Arsene, I am too clingy for my emotions and I am having a hard time breaking that. It is also difficult when you've spent 17 years sharing your life with one person and no one else.

I managed to call H once last night because I couldn't get our D on the phone. He didn't answer. D called me a few minutes later and I did talk to H after that briefly. The conversation was cordial. Started out a little cold but got a little warmer at the end. No I love yous. I was generally the one who had to initiate that anyway and didn't last night.

I resisted texting to let him know I had reached my destination, etc.

I went out to dinner with my dad last night and then to a bar with the lady I am traveling with. I hadn't been out to a bar in years and it was fun, although I won't make it a habit.

Of to a conference

[Arsene]

Try to have a good time and take a break from your sitch for a few day while you're in DC. It'll do you good. Cheers!

[hopefulinga]

The conference kept me pretty busy yesterday and it will again today. Did I still think about H? Yes. I talked to him briefly yesterday evening. When I do think about him, it is what can I do differently? Also because I would like to share my experiences in DC with him and our D.

I will go home tonight. I think he was a little miffed yesterday when I didn't let him know I made it here ok. I will probably call him on my lay over to let him know where we are and to check to make sure our D is ready for school tomorrow.

[hopefulinga]

I'm back home. When I talked to H yesterday to let him know I was on my way back, he implied he would have met me at the airport but it was going to be late and did't want our D out because today was the first day of school. I told him that I understood and that was fine.

I had to call him later to let him know we were delay and those conversations were nice as well and he told me to keep him informed as to what was going on.

He was asleep when I got home, but seemed ok this morning. I think being away was good for both of us. It also let me let of some steam and I came back less on edge and worried about how he is going to react to me. I am going to try to go back to not walking on egg shells, but trying to keep my small changes in place as well.

[hopefulinga]

I think I may have accidentally undone some of my progress. During all of this turmoil, I had the den painted, which was arranged before the D bomb.

The shelves needed a 2nd coat and the painters told me it wouldn't smell as bad as the primer. I know that H is sensitive to the smell and left the house the last time it was done.

Well, he came home tonight and had a fit and left. I tried to apologize. I stayed calm and didn't raise my voice despite his doing so.

When he left, I again told him that I was sorry that the smell affected him and then he said I can't believe you did this.

So, I know I messed up. I should have asked him if it was ok to get the paint done today or if I should wait. They still have to do another coat so I know what to do the next time.

I guess I am a little hyper-sensitive and worrying right now. I hope he comes home in a better frame of mind in the morning. I will not call him or text him tonight. I just don't want this to cause a backward slide.

[MrBond]

STOP apologizing. It was an honest mistake and you apologized for it. Rather than thanking you for taking charge, he decided to act like an @$$.

So for the next time, just ask him what day is most convenient for him for the next paint job.

He's not going to leave you just for this. Stop being afraid.

[hopefulinga]

Thanks for the encouragement. You are right. I need to stop being afraid and stop letting his emotions affect me. That is a slip backwards a little bit for me.

I feel better now and will ignore which ever person comes home in the morning.

[hopefulinga]

Mr. Cold came home this morning and didn't address me at all. I just ignored him and told him good bye when he left.

I need to go back and read more on MLC to get me through some of this.