This week after he and I were together all those days has been a lost four days as to taking care of myself. After he left I was just so tired and emotionally worn out. I thought he was acting more normal, but then immediately after leaving he proved me wrong with the mania. Then the necessity for damage control in my professional career each night. So just worn out. Tomorrow focus on getting things done around here, go to the gym, run, such as that. Sunday begins a new week so a new list of weekly goals begins then. However, he will probably be back sometime that week. And it is hard to prep for that because I am a completely different person when he is around. He is less agitated when I speak quietly, so I do always, at least until he throws furniture. As to the agitation, I put away a bunch of things from the house so there is much less stimulation and that seems to have helped while he is here as well. I clear most of my work schedule so he is not alone in the house. I focus on being happy and at peace always around him now, hard to believe but true, which is perhaps why I exude so much anger here at times. But then happiness seems to irritate him at times too like when I did not cry when he left the other day.
