New to site...Ready for Advice...Been Reading!

[Denver_2010]

I wanted my cake & eat it to. Meaning I wanted to go out and hang with friends & come home to her when I was done (very stupid/immature).

Sounds familiar.

I feel that the downturn in our marriage was around the beginning of 2009 (already out of military into Corporate America by 2003). That was when I was layed off from a very high paying job (with the debt to go with it). From there we had to file for Bankruptcy. I wasn't quite myself after layoff & bankruptcy (pride/whoa is me attitude), so for 3 years I was distant, angry, depressed etc. and wasn't there for her emotionally when I should have been.

Sounds familiar.

I basically became a whinny angry, whoa is me attitude kind of guy who was miserable, which projected onto her and others.

Sounds familiar.

I think I really screwed the pooch at the beginning of this process. Because since she dropped the Bomb on me in March, I have pursued, whinned, begged, cards etc...Basically everything that all of you and MWD advise against. Who wants to be with a very whinny & weak blubbering fool?

Sounds familiar.

Also I have been going to IC & church since this all started, and truly feel great about becoming me again. This of course upsets her tremendously, because she said that why does it take me doing this for you to want to change?

Sounds familiar.

My point? You are with plenty of people who understand what you are going through. Most of what you describe is very common amongst the problems and reactions of the people here on this board. You are at the right place.

I agree with Starsky. I too would be concerned because of her past history of infidelity.

I also agree that you need to stop being so available. Personally, I'd suggest that you go LRT (last resort technique) immediately.

How to do that can be found in the book Divorce Remedy. Have you read it?

Is there a waiting period for divorces in your state?