It is contingent on me maintaining a 3.0 GPA for the first two semesters but that should not be too difficult. It just means that I need to open some textbooks more often than I did in Law School.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
Well of course your controlling now. Ndad does not want me to date and sleep with other men when were married...
Personally I would not have left the house. Nor the bed. But with you going away to school again out of state perhaps now is not the time to go back. That I will have to think about. But I would document why you left and what you thought it would do to save the marriage. I would also document all the times you got to be with your children and if you were stopped from seeing them. Document your sessions with IC.
You cannot stop your wife from sleeping with other men. Only she can do that. You have control over if she is your wife. Right now I would say legally yes. That is all. And treat her as such. Cool , calm and collect with a dash of respect. Maybe stop lending her your car so she can do some shopping. Just cut it back to kids and only kids.
I was reading on shrink4men about a site that has a community that may help with your addiction. Linky
Check it out.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
How is the divorce coming along since you have been served ?
So what have you done ?
Legally ?
Planning ?
Parenting ?
Well like I said, things are in limbo right now. Unless I sign a waiver that says I agree to waive the 90 day cooling off period the earliest that the court will even look at the divorce petition is October 22, and I know that the court here is backed up enough that it will probably be even longer than that.
Legally I am not doing much. I have been in touch with a lawyer and at his advice I have chosen not to contest the divorce. If she wants to go through with it then she can have it. But I have told her that I will not sign the waiver. She can have the divorce, but there is a reason that the State put that waiting period in place and that is to give people a chance to rethink their decisions and to reevaluate their emotions.
Planning wise, I am making some preliminary plans but I am also sort of taking a wait and see approach to it. I am going to save some money to get my own place if needed but I don't want to get into a lease and then in a month or two end up stuck if she decides that she wants to get back together. The one thing I do plan on doing is getting my own car so I don't have to rely on my brother or my W if I need a vehicle for something.
Parenting is something that I am really focusing on. I am trying to make sure that when my kids are with me they have fun and are happy when W picks them up. Our therapist has pointed out to me that she really seems focused on the kids and that if I build a good relationship with the kids then that could very possibly carry over to my relationship with her. Last night when she came to pick them up from visiting me all but one of my kids gave me a hug before the left. I had been out at the car talking to my W about some overdue library books that needed to be turned in so she say all the kids give me a hug. One of her claims is that she is divorcing me so that the kids will have a better life, so for her to see that works in my favor I think.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
Personally I would not have left the house. Nor the bed. But with you going away to school again out of state perhaps now is not the time to go back. That I will have to think about. But I would document why you left and what you thought it would do to save the marriage. I would also document all the times you got to be with your children and if you were stopped from seeing them. Document your sessions with IC.
The school is here in town where we live, which is one of the reasons I picked this particular program. It means that I will be able to be able to further my education and still be close to my kids and my W. I have been told that I made a mistake by leaving the home but I don't think I did. My goal was to use it as an opportunity to detach. The problem is that I did not do a good job at it. And to be honest, at the time I left the home she did not tell me that she was filing for divorce, she just said that she thought we should separate for awhile.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
I received an e-mail just now that let me know that I have been accepted to the MPA program on a provisional basis. So at least one thing is going right today.
Congrats, you should be really happy. Enjoy that weekend.
I was reading on shrink4men about a site that has a community that may help with your addiction. Linky
Check it out.
Last night I downloaded anti-pornography software to my laptop, canceled all my dating profiles and set the anti porn software to block dating websites as well, and then had my brother password lock the filter so that I can't override it. I realized last night that me getting upset with her for having dating profiles while I had my own was pretty hypocritical. Of course I justified it by telling myself that I was just putting up profiles "just in case" and not actively contacting anyone, but that was just a lie I told myself to convince myself that I was better than her. I was just trying to control something that I could not control. Lastly I located a pornography 12 step program in my area that is run by my church that I am going to start attending next Wednesday. I have not told her anything about any of this, the closet I have gotten is to tell her that I can have the kids over to the house any night but Wednesdays.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
