I am left wondering would it be easier just to accept the D and try to piece my life back together after that?
You must consider that your relationship is over. Whether you accept the D or not is not exactly the point. If your marriage is to continue it will need to be a new relationship. If you get divorced you will have a new relationship. But all of that is not now it is in the future.
Right now you need to let her go and detach. If you do not detach enough then she may file for divorce. Let her do the work for the divorce, do not help her.
This is something I wrote on a nother forum to get people to post on your thread. Maybe it will help you.
To get more replies my suggestion is to ask questions. Put you post down in a readable fashion. (not one big block of type- ie hit carriage return frequently). KISS = Keep it simple stupid Post on other peoples threads and give them support. You may not think you are qualified but you will be surprised that you may know something or have some knowledge of something that others know nothing about. Personally thank each poster that does post on your thread or ask them a follow up question.
