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[JustStunned]

1000, A milestone of sorts? I suppose so. Better make it a good post. Thanks for the pressure KD.

@Val:((((Val)))) Thank you, I am not there yet. I am better. This was like the closing of a chapter. I can accept I’ll open the book again but for now it’ll sit on the coffee table for a while.

@KG: There were many good years, some great, and there are many good memories. We lasted 29yrs and I wanted to continue, after all I was not married to the wicked witch of the west.

@BeingMe:Thank you for the Psalm. I am not ready to celebrate, perhaps someday. For now I am keeping the memories pleasant.

@Gunny: Stay positive, stay motivated. Semper Fidelis

Journaling: We feel what we feel and this most recent drama was self induced. Realizing that make me wonder how much I may have been able to previously avoid.

This was self induced as I had built up our 30 year anniversary as a milestone. It was something we did throughout our marriage. We would set goals and timeframes to achieve them. Wedding anniversaries particularly the major ones lent themselves as check points. 30 was the last one I had placed any significance upon. Now that the last mile stone is past I feel better about moving on. Silly I suppose, but for some reason I needed to stand and wait for a time.

We had plans and I had banked resources against those plans. So now I have until 2014 to burn through 200K+ air miles. I ought to be able to make a few vacations out of them. Next year should prove interesting and memorable. I have no idea when where or how yet. I have not begun to plan how to expend those resources.

There are a few adventures I have yet to issue orders on. It is time to complete planning and get to it. I was waiting for my budget to sort out, the kids to get settled and 30 to come and go.

I spoke with my daughter last night. We had gone for a walk on Tuesday night. She wanted to give me support, but she needed to vent and that discussion continued last night. She has become the explainer to the family for her mother’s behaviors. She should not assume or be placed in that position. I do not know if she will affect a change to that situation. It is her issue to resolve.

My DIL brought the GD by on Wednesday evening. There was some mail she needed to pick up at the house and we visited for about an hour. GD is beginning to crawl. I told DIL she’ll be climbing curtains before the year is out. I feel good about how my relationship with my daughter, son, and daughter in law is progressing.

Despite all that has happened I want them to have a positive image of XW. I make a personal point not to say negative things about XW especially when doing so would permit me to join a discussion. I have attempted to remind them of pleasant memories. This is difficult to do with DIL as she has only spent limited time with XW and most of that was while XW was in crisis. I am not a saint I have moments of resentment. I attempt to keep and vent those in private as no good will come of them and they are counterproductive to my goals.