I am always trying to add additional ammo to my arsenal. I am starting to understand the need to just listen and validate. Don’t try to offer solutions or have a “fit it” mentality, right?
Recently W and I have been making sure our daughters stiches heal properly. Here’s the latest email from W.
“The most important thing for scaring is lots of sunscreen on the scar during the day!!! You can give me the Mederma to use at night, but during the day she needs sunscreen. I'll drop the kids off at the house right at 8am tomorrow, or maybe a few minutes before. Can you bring them back to the apartment at 3pm? The apartment is very hard at times!!! I really need to buy bunk beds. Any idea on when you might receive a bonus???”
Acc- I believe you previously mentioned the meaning behind W’s complains. If my memory serves me right, complaining is a symptom that W’s need aren’t being met? This email is borderline comical. D always sleeps in the bed with W. Our S also does the same, just not as much. Regardless, it’s dysfunctional and inappropriate. Just like W wanting me to discipline the kids over the phone, I will bite my tongue with this one because it won’t do any good. For some reason she feels a “bunk bed” will be a cure all, yeah right! Finally, W is constantly asking me when I am getting a bonus. Realistically it won’t be for a couple months however it could be sooner, I just don’t know. Obviously she’s asking because I agreed to give her part of them. I am getting so sick of her asking though. I’ve tried to be crystal clear with her MULTIPLE TIMES. I always tell her that I will make sure to let her know when I will be getting a bonus and she just doesn’t stop asking. It’s getting really annoying. I am getting to the point of not wanting to respond to that question because I’ve already told her that I would let her know.
I will briefly see W tomorrow on our anniversary, arggg!!!!Tough day! I am noticing my posts are starting to show more consistent signs or resentment on my part. Yeah, some of it is venting which is good for me but I don’t want to be a resentful person. I need to stop analyzing everything so much but it’s extremely hard not to. Who knows, maybe analyzing things is how I learn. Once again, I just don’t know. It’s one big giant cluster fuc*!
Me(M):38 W:43 Together: 14 Married: 11 D: 4 S:8 W wanted separation 5/5/12 Stopped living together 5/5/12 Currently DB’ing
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”. Thomas Jefferson
