I do feel W does not respects me. I am afraid to stand up to her for the fear I will lose her.
This is the problem. Your problem and mine.
It the common theme of all the books in my pile.
What we fear we create.
The less we need their respect the more we get it.
The more respect we have for ourselves the more we get from others.
In a conversation she will have the upper hand - she will know what's going on (if anything), what she wants, and how she feels. He mind will be clearer. She'll be throwing out the tests. I sometimes try to minimize the damage by sitting in a comfortable place, listening carefully, moving very little and slowly, talking slowly, talking very little, often giving a minimal acceptable response, and having a few canned responses ("That's a lot to hear. I'll need to think about that."). If your voice goes up, or you do even close to half the talking you're probably losing. Oh, and - this courtesy of my wife, wonder what others would suggest here - don't apologize. for. anything. At most say "well, now that I know how you feel I might have done things a bit differently".
PS - I often fail at all of these. But when I don't, they work.
