Reading - How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About it. I am terribly sad to realize I don't understand how fear,shame,anger,resentment,blame and criticism have saturated me. I am embarrassed to realize I have been so self absorbed. Kaffe Diem-you suggested I think about shame, and how it relates to my feeling embarrased. I am working on this. The book has allowed some, ah ha moments, my typical behavior towards my H, from my fears, has created shame within him. At least this is my interpretation of my reading, and it makes sense. I have been so stuck in my own discomfort, it is difficult to realize that my H has fear, shame, embarrassment and blame as well. I have had a very incorrect view of my H. I viewed him as having no fear, he is a man. He would never be embarrased, he is a man. He didn't need me, he is a man. I have no idea how to organize all of the insights I have opened my eyes to since joining this forum. I am overwhelmed at how narrow minded I have been, and wanting to become better, yet not knowing how to get there.
M 43 H 43 M 21 T 24 Bomb 9/2011 EA 9/2011 H moved out 10/2011 I filed for D out of anger 2/2012 H moved in with OW 3/2012 focused on blame and bitterness 9/2011-6/2012 found DB 7/2012
