Lots of questions and a good deal of doubt.

[mshaf]

Feeling a little out of sorts today. W and kids are gone to the beach so I don't get to look forward to seeing my sons this weekend.

Of course, everyone here knows how hard this is. I am getting tired of the ups and downs. It [censored] that one day I will feel ok and then I can feel so down the next. I guess I feel like I have lost purpose. There is no more reason to come home. I miss the routine. Funny, because if you asked my W she would probably say I hated the everyday hum drum family life.

One thing that left me kind of in a slump is the day before my W left for the beach she showed up at the house unannounced (she still has a key). I had been going through the DR book and writing some things out, so that was sitting out in plain sight (I don't think she say it). Also, I was in the act of getting dressed. The whole interaction felt very awkward. I was definitely caught off guard and not on my A game. Anyways, this was our last interaction before she goes out of town and I do not feel like it was a positive one.

I know I probably shouldn't worry too much about it. I guess if I wasn't worried I wouldn't be here though, right?

I am left wondering would it be easier just to accept the D and try to piece my life back together after that?