Went to see IC on Wednesday, or the day after my last post on this thread, and discussed everything from that post... Leaving the IC's office is always a good thing, as he really helps me keep my perspective on things.
We discussed how affected I get when we have these good conversations (how the next day I'm usually so sad) and he helped me realize how normal that was... how after such a good conversation and sharing happiness with WAW, the next day is naturally going to be hard as her absence from my life will be amplified. But so long as I can focus on GAL, the positive steps that I'M making in my life, and the next step I will take to better myself, I'll be just fine... With or without her.
Sometimes it's so easy to focus on how far away we seem, on all the negatives of the situation, on all the little phrases or words that seem to be signaling an end... Then I lose focus on the POSITIVE things: Like the fact that she DID randomly email me at 1:00 in the morning last week to tell me she heard a song on the radio that reminded her of me, like the fact that she DOES want to keep communications with me open by texting every few days or sending those random emails, or calling once in a while... If she really knew it was over or she was completely checked out of the relationship, I find it hard to believe these things would continue...
But at the same time, I have to make sure I keep the whole "NO EXPECTATIONS" thing going, keep focusing on GAL and finding a bit more of my own happiness every day. I need to keep a PMA as much as I can, continue focusing on the positives, and keep coming back here to listen to all your wonderful advice and read your stories.
