I hope to keep this brief. I'm married 23yrs, 4 grown kids still living at home, I have been a homemaker, my H works nights & days, has been (by all of my reading) for several yrs now in MLC.
H went into a deep anger in 2009. In 2011 he had an A for 6 months, and is still in an EA with OW.
H brought up the idea of D once to his own surprise. He asked to be "aloud" to move out, after several times of saying go, he complained I won't let him go!
I realize now he wanted me to "let him go" figuratively.
He's not leaving, still works hard, pays everything, anger is joined w/deep depression, criticizes himself, refuses to get old, says he's already dead, kisses me hello, compliments are coming back slowly, sleeps in my bed, claims the good H loves me, this H is a new man who loves being on the flip side (the wrong side) .
I have to live in this house, validatie him, be kind, not talk about were's he's been, get vm from his EA emotionally abusing him, and I'm spinning dizzily around feeling trapped, alone, angry, ect....
I have never really worked...didn't finish college...don't have friends, as H was my BFF.
I want to learn how to GAL, I was 21 when we meet, it will be new for me without H, and not as a W, but as just me.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
