You can be friendly and/or civil in his presence, but he doesn't look at being "friends" the same as you do. You've been in a very tough situation for a long time. Your h has been the "stay at home" mlcer and it's been a long and difficult road for you because when he's home he's physically there, but not emotionally or mentally.
It's okay to leave the door ajar and hope that he will one day want to reconcile, but you need to find a way to just leave it ajar and start living your life for you and only you.
My hat's off to you for staying and putting up w/his behavior all of this time. To be honest, I couldn't have done it. Just remember...only you can determine when you've had enough and want to move forward on to a different life.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
