Mlcers must go through all of the stages and come out the other end. Just because you let go and move on w/your life, doesn't mean that they will snap out of it. Oh, they may come back to earth and appear normal, but if they have not completed the entire crisis, they will have another crisis later on and it will be far worse than the one they put on hold.
Many posters believe that if they change, move on or do certain things, it will "rush" the crisis and it will not. Posters will learn as they walk the path that this is not about them and there is absolutely nothing they can do to bring their spouses back to earth.
The only thing we can do is let them go and love them unconditionally. Yeah, even when they are @sses we have to look deeper and yes, it's the behavior that we hate, not the person. Until that time...live your life to the fullest and enjoy your children, as they are growing up quickly.
This advice is so good that it bears repeating and rereading many times.
