To Lovingly Detach

[hopefulinga]

I hijacked this from another thread and don't know how to do it properly, but Kaffe Diem posted it and it made sense to me:


Detachment is seen as being less emotionally attached to someone, their words, their actions... yet it seems people often miss what could be the bigger picture of detachment...

It is about understanding that our own personal contentment and happiness is about us and comes from within us...

IOW, when we are emotionally attached to someone (or something) we begin to believe that they are the reason for our happiness.This relates not just to our spouse, but also to a family member or even a friend. Just because you are not with your kids, your parents, your friends... does not mean that you cannot be happy...
As it is... with our spouses...

With or without them...

And yet, we are still connected to... have a connection with... our kids, our parents, our friends...

When you know this, you can truly detach... when you truly detach, you will know this...

I struggle with this as well. Because we are so emotionally attached to our spouses, and it is scary to think that we are not because we may feel like we are giving up. And I've struggled with "act as if" because I was acting as if nothing was wrong, and with some of the LRT because I was seen as too distant, and with getting my hopes up after some small changes.

The key is to remember that the small changes are good but don't mean everything is back to normal. Wouldn't it be nice?