Why do they lose their sense of humour in all of this. I had a dream the other night about xh and we were laughing together about something ridiculous, like we used to, and now he doesn't find anything amusing.
In fact I sent him a link some months back to a Garrison Keillor broadcast I thought he might enjoy, and he mailed back saying he didn't feel like listening to it!!. He used to really enjoy this guy.
I think emotional availability is hugely important.
Fwiw, I used to think in the early days that a MLC spouse who didn't run hard and fast was preferable. I have changed my view. The beginning is very raw without them, but I honestly think it is harder having a MLCer around then gone. I do not think I could do as you have done, and I admire it.
