Divorced. My fault, and cant move forward

[MrBond]

Sorry that you find yourself here but we'll do our very best to get your M back on track.

First of all, your H is totally right in not trusting you. I mean, you were texting your trainer when he asked you not to. That was his test to you and you had an opening but blew it. So are you still in contact with this trainer of yours? If you're serious, you're going to have to stop ALL contact. My suggestion is to talk to your XH about it first, then show him you're deleting the trainer's contact from your phone and sending the trainer a standard no-contact letter. If you balk at this, you're not ready to go back to your H.

Now, are you going into C? Is that how you got your "ah ha" moment? If not go to C asap. Then go to MC and invite your H. If he chooses not to go, go by yourself. Learn deep down what happened and grow from there.

Do you have children? Concentrate on them if you do. Show up at appointments on time, show your XH you can be trustworthy. Show him you can be dependable. You are going to have to show him rather than just tell him.