A Huddle of Turtles

[needgrace]

hi sweet friend,

it is so confusing...is it mlc, personality disorder, or just extreme selfishness?? do we throw them out, seduce them, expose them, be their friend, make ultimatums, act as if, let them be the one to initiate the D... HELP!!!

i think we need to look at our spouse before the BD and ask ourselves who they really have been... if they have changed SIGNIFICANTLY, suddenly have become an alien... then i think we have to consider MLC.. a personality disorder does not simply appear... you would have seen this traits before the BD. .. it seems to me that the MLCer shows a lot of traits of a personality disorder but so does an adolescent..

and i think each M, each person and each sitch is unique.. and the answer for one M is not the answer for all.. i think that is why MWD suggests that you see what works.. there is no one answer.

and ultimately there is no magic answer.. perhaps why the things the vets who R did worked is as much about who their spouses are as it is about what the vets did.. it takes TWO.. and that is what is out of our control.

anyhow, i say all this bc i feel overwhelmed by all the info sometimes and wonder if you do too.

and honestly..

i think you are hurting right now, zig and rightfully so.. and now may not be the time to decide anything but just to feel.. and to take your time with the answers
which ultimately have to fit with the zig you want to be in the world..

and stay on the blanket.. i am clutching onto it now.. pass the black label

(((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))