You know, whether or not she starts dating now that you are separated is NOT the issue. (Btw, if she put up an online dating profile, it looks like she left you THEN started dating, not like she left you FOR someone she was already seeing - big difference.)
What YOU need to focus on is the following: - Getting work. Five kids to feed and you're unemployed? I know the economy is very bad, but you HAVE to do whatever you can to fix this. Until you do, you won't be a very attractive option for your wife. Plus the kids are your responsibility, you need to do it for THEM, regardless of what happens to your marriage.
- Being the best dad you can be. The better you are as a father, the more she'll respect you.
- Owning your own sh!t - you admit you have an anger problem and a porn addiction. Sounds like she has ample reason to want to move on. You can't change the past but you can show your good intentions by getting treatment and by showing her you respect that she has the right to want something different in her life. You may need antidepressants. SLAA meetings would be a very good idea too. Be humble and show her you recognize the validity of her complaints and are working on being a better man. Do NOT make excuses for your bad behavior.
Odds are, your wife is going to do some dating. She wants to be validated - to go out with someone who pays attention to her, is kind and positive towards her, etc etc. In her mind, you're separated, she's free to do so.
YOUR job, is to let go of that and focus on becoming the best man YOU can be. If you two are meant to be together, she'll see that and may eventually be open to a reconciliation. But you don't have control over that - the only thing you have control over is improving yourself, so hop to it!
