Just Found Out About The OM, What Now?

[NASCARDaddy]

Honestly, I think that the thing that she finds appealing in an OM is that he is not me. What she says is that she wants someone that she wants someone who isn't controlling, makes her feel safe, respects her, isn't trying to change her, and as she puts it has kindness in their eyes. And to be honest I don't know how I can change most of those things, because I am not sure why she feels that I am controlling or trying to change her and I don't know why she thinks I don't respect her. And I don't even know what she means when she talks about not seeing kindness in my eyes and she will not tell me what it means.

I do know where she gets the idea that I don't make her feel safe. I have long struggled with anger issues and she is afraid that at some point I will become violent. I am in therapy for that problem and my addiction to pornography. The problem is that since I moved out, both at her request and because I felt it was best at the time, I am not sure how she is going to see the changes I am making. She refuses to even talk to me right now.

As for a DB coach, I would love to talk to one but I am unemployed and broke, so that is pretty much impossible for me right now.