second time newcomer, back for more

[badcompany]

Many good points. I've never been one to just be happy being on my own or doing something for my myself.

I've had many girlfriends over the years, only 3 serious ones, one of them being W.

I can honestly say though that my marriage (not including the past 10 days) has been awesome. No complaints, left for work feeling on cloud nine, like the luckiest guy in the world. Some friends are jealous of how awesome my R with M is.

Could the marriage use more spice ? I'm sure all R could at some point. Ive been the loving, compassionate, fun-to-be-around husband.

There are times when we have a disagreement, there are times when we are down in the dumps about the boys misbehaving, or finance, but we always bounce right back.

When we separated in '08, I tried really hard to take care if myself, not let the things she was doing and saying get to me. Thanks to everyone here, it worked.

I am a simple man, low maintenance. I work hard to provide for my family, especially after losing my job of twelve years and starting over.

I get a significant amount of joy from just coming home and seeing my wife smiling and my kids runnin up to me. I'm not out of shape, but I'm not an exerciser or a runner or anything. I love to come home, plug the guitar in, and jam out to classic rock.

I was very unattentive during the first year of my marriage. I was working a lot (mandatory) and sleeping a lot, and W spent a lot of time raising S6 by herself until she finally caved and said she wasn't happy. I ignored all the warning signs. The thought of losing her was unbearable to me. She was the perfect woman and I felt like crap for not treating her as such.

I've done my best over the last 3 years since separation to completely turn around the way I was. I feel I have succeeded. I can't say for certain what is going on with my wife now, I just know that whenever she's down in the dumps, I start to feel like I could possibly relive the separation an affair with OM all over again. That period of our lives gave me much depression.

I appreciate all the things you say and the blunt statements you make. Most are true. 99% even.

The feeling of being in love with someone and having them not feel the same way possibly, again, is daunting.

I am just trying to make it through this with grace.

FOR THE MOST PART, I have stopped chasing her as much as I had previously this past week. I let her know I was here to talk, and not much more. Yes, some days I want to text her a million times just to talk and get along, but I don't.

It's just frustrating when you and your wife are 'happily' married, she always tells you how much she loves you, how lucky her and the kids are to have you, an have the threat of losing it appear and catch you off guard.

I don't NEED to be married, I act like it, but it's not the end of the world if I'm not. That said, I love my life and my kids. They are my world. I don't want a repeat of 2008 ever again.

I have tried in this post to talk a little more about me, and not W. reading back through, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Forgive me. I have found what I consider to be my version of the perfect woman, but I will detach and back off if that's what I have to do