right now today - i just feel quite hopeless about the sitch with my h. i think i am facing finally in the last couple of days what he said to me last friday - that even if it doesn't work out with ow he still wants to file. (it's been sinking in slowly)
You would rather he announce that he wants to come back to you, solely because OW broke up with him? (this happens often on these forums) Where would you be then?
Look, at the end of the day, the ONLY thing that matters is what you each need and want from a marital relationship, and whether or not you want to continue to try to achieve those things with each other. His statements about OW -- whether positive or negative -- really matter not one whit.
It's almost like you're having to grieve the loss of your marriage before you have any hope of possibly saving it. Since you yourself have said you tend to process things slowly and throughly, maybe you are just now getting to this stage?
