Hello I am a fairly new comer. I have a thread in the "Affair" section that has not gotten a lot of feedback so I thought I would start here. I will not get into too much depth here for the sake of repeating myself. I had an affair 3 years ago from what I thought we got through it but apparently I was mistaken. 2 months ago my H told me he did not think he could be married to me any more. For the most part I felt this came out of no where. At that time I was confused and was really trying to see why all of a sudden this has come up. We just got back from a cruise and I thought we had a good time so why the change? He told me he feels like he wants to be with other women, He thinks he just does not want to be with me anymore.
So a few days had passed and he agreed to consulting. We went and things were still tense. I had to pay his cell phone bill and I saw 100's of texts to an unfamiluar number so I asked him about it. He said it was his friend "Eddy" Now Eddy had moved about 6 months prior and I had just asked him a few weeks before how Eddy was doing and he said he had not talked to him so I know he was lying. To get to the point I found out this was OW. She was someone he worked with and who was "Going Through the same thing as he was" I asked him what "That" was and he said "Feeling Guilty about leaving" He said he has had no physical contact with OW just talking.
So I took it at that. Another day or so went by and my gut told me to look into this a bit. I looked at when the texting was happening. When I was at the store, I was at work, Even right before our cruise and right after. There I saw there were pictures exchanged. So I decided to look into his email and there they were. 3 nude pictures of her and one very explicit video. So I confronted H. He said she just sent them and he did not send any to her. He said he asked her to not to send them, but I did see they still talked after so who knows.
He said he would not talk to her anymore. He said he is not looking for a relationship just an outlet. I tried to explain to him how some women are. He may be thinking A but they are really thinking B. I think she was looking for a replacement for her own bad relationship. She is 26 2 kids under 5 BF cheats on her....etc (All info I got from my H) So I asked him how does one go from "Talking about there independent" relationships to sending nude pictures.......He did not say much.
A few more weeks had passed. He agreed to stay, Break if off with OW and see how it goes. He then told me really thinks he should leave. He started asking me what I would do, and what I would do with our Son. We live in NY now. Commute 70 miles one way every day for work. I told him I would probably move closer to work. He was shocked. He said he would pick up S and stay at the house until I got home. He said he would come over and do housework and mow the grass and help me out. I thought to myself. No you wont. He asked why. I told him if he leaves that is it. I cannot be his friend. Again he was shocked. I told him the reason for that is because I would not be able to get over him if he was still around. I said I may even move to Florida, where my family lives. At least there I would have some support. Again he was shocked. He said he could not bear the though of not seeing our son. And he could not believe I would even think about moving.
So again he decided to stay. So from then on things have been Strange, Tense and Confusing. One day he is OK the next he is a real A**hole. I keep on doing positive things but he just does not seem to respond to anything. I feel like we are just co-existing. I am really not sure how long I can keep this up. I feel like I am walking on eggshells every day. There is no communication unless I start it. Then it is just one word answers. I am just so frustrated. He has continued with his consoling, but he has not told me anything about what they are working on. So I really do not know where to go or what to do. I have started keeping a journal just to see how many good days there are vs bad days. I am really trying to be positive but sometimes I am really wondering if it is worth it and if things will ever be better.......
