I would recommend at this time, please seek support locally and also protect yourself. ie. Check into availability of shelters, change the locks, and perhaps even consider filing a restraining order.
IMHO, ABSOLUTELY IMPERATIVE!
If you say you are scared... then DO NOT deny or stuff that feeling. From your posts... and I do know that people in crises... ie. those who's world is turning upside down as your is, can "see" things differently.
My belief on an appropriate and necessary approach is...
GET YOURSELF PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY SAFE FIRST!
