New to DB

[mamabird]

Good for you Inga. If you can do these things you will start to feel stronger. Sounds like when you did break down in front of him and showed your vulnerable side, he reacted favorably (even if it was just small stuff).

How about finding a female friend to go to the concert with, and letting him know that you're going to go with that person if he can't give you an answer. Do it nicely though, something like, "Hey H, I'd love to spend an evening out with you, but Ms. So and So really loves this band and she'd jump at the chance to come to the concert with me if you can't decide. I'm buying the tickets tomorrow." You need to get a life and go to the concert with or without him (if you want to that is). If you do go without him, make sure he knows what a great time you had!

Now that you've cried and thanked him, you've said it. He knows. Be sweet, but distant. You're not cold, you're not angry. You're happily living your life and he can be part of it or not. Can you do that?

If you can "get out from under his spell" and truly get to the point where your emotions are not affected by what he does or does not do or say, you really will feel happier, and he may feel attracted to you again. I think this is the point of what that book is all about.