More patience??? Really???

[ces67]

Journaling:

A few observable changes...
--While my W has not been sleeping in our bed, it appears she is sleeping with our D10 and not in the guest room.
--W has not been taking the laptop into the room at night like she use to do but instead is leaving it on the dinning room table where she does her work. She is less "protective" of it than she use to be.
--W is still holding onto "memories" or "keepsakes" of the OM.

I am reading a book on affairs to help me with forgiveness and to help me understand what my W is going thru. In the section on healing it talks about how the WAS will hold onto these keepsakes as part of the emotional connection they feel towards the OM/OW. The book indicates that this is a normal part of the process. However for the WAS to truly move forward, they must get rid of them and for the LBS to fully heal and trust, they have to see them go away.

Right now I'm praying for this next step to happen. This is where I'm at. I do need to see these things go away and I need to see that honesty is returning to my M to move forward. I also know this is where more patience is needed. (really???)

I've found more "keepsakes" this week and its painful. But its not crippled me. I'm glad I found them because to me, it is information that helps me understand. It helps me know this is still a long journey and I need to keep my strength up.

Its still very painful. But its not a pain that cripples but more a pain that heightens the senses to be prepared.

I'm tired. But I'm standing.