a new perspective

[strongerthanever]

There have been some dynamic shifts in the past month that really make me want to pause and reflect.

I release the desire to see him change. I can not control him, nor do I wish to. I do not regret opening up to H, as having a compassionate heart is a rewarding way to live, I have found. This sitch has allowed me to work on some very selfish views that I had. My growth is for me only, not in hopes of creating a chain reaction in my M.

I have changed so much that the rollar coaster ride is just not attractive at all anymore. Not at all. I don't "stay dark" in attempts to make him miss me, I avoid unhealthy interactions. Right now, H is full of unhealthy interactions.

His issues are just that-his. I'm not judging him for his "junk" that he is working through or where he is on his path. I have simply felt the need to leave him alone on his path as it is destructive for my well being.

There is a crack in the door for reconciliation, but it would come on the heels of his reflection and growth-not any sooner.

DB has allowed me to focus on my own actions, find compassion and save my sanity. Whether or not the M will be saved is unknown, but most importantly I am a better person because of it.