Should I initiate R talk?

[Arsene]

I'll go talk to L again tomorrow. What I was told so far is that I have no legal rights in this country. I don't exist. I'm not even on the family card (a document stating the family hierarchy).

I was also told that a divorce was difficult to get because both of us have to go to the place we were married (my MIL's city - 2-hour flight) in order to even file for it. Then there is a lengthy process which includes mediation by the imam and some officials. From what I hear, this is kind of a grilling of the couple, meant to intimidate people and make them reconsider. In Most case it works because around here, no one wants to wash their dirty laundry in the open.

Then there is more paperwork and the divorce might still be refused if the mediators don't think there are good enough reasons. I was told that in the best of cases, it could take a minimum of 3 months to make it final.

One of the things I was also told was that the children always go to the mother. Now this is what I want to find out about since in our case, W is walking away and pretty much living outside of the cultural boundaries of her country. For what she is doing now, she would get caned in one of the stricter parts of the country.

One the other hand I was also told that even without a Divorce, W and OM could just bribe an imam to get some unofficial marriage certificate (which is what is usually issued for the second, third and fourth wife). Now, my W being Buddhist on her ID card might make this a bit difficult (mixt marriages ar not allowed) but then again, if the bribe is big enough anything is possible.

I will talk to lawyer about exactly what my options are. BTW, when I talked about leaving the country with D8, it wasn't to get even with W, it was to make sure D8 is not taken away from me because of a law which doesn't see me as a person.

So basically, from what you are saying, there is nothing I can say to W about this. Could I not tell her how I felt when I found out and ask her to please refrain? At least for the time being. Do I have to take every thing she throws at me without saying a word? Is there a way that this could be addressed?

I just had a look again at my thread and you are right, I don't seem to have talked about an instance where I told her I didn't think it as a good idea for us to introduce D8 to our OP, if any. At that point she had gotten a bit upset and turned away but had said that she agreed as well. Now I know, Believe nothing they say.