MLC with depression....double the fun!

[albamarie]

I see that I am going through stages, grief will be a long lasting one (yrs) as I feel so sad for the H I lost.

With grief I feel sad for the yrs we built together just to spend them possibly apart. One day have grandkids in separate homes.

I am angry that he feels the need to better OW quality of life cause she's a drunk on welfare. His EA is so deeply rooted he calls her his crazy counterpart that balances him out.

H said he's not going to leave the family but his anger won't let him "come back".

I don't know what to do...we sleep in the same bed.

Today he apologized for saying he didn't love me, because that was the husband I knew, and H today is someone completely different.

He even went on to say that I may like this guy better because his anger will allow him to be a stronger person.

While he was talking all I could think of is how it would be nice to be talking to a rational guy who smelled good.

I started wanting to be somewhere else with someone else. I am finally opening up to the idea that there are other men in the world.

My married eyes that have been pure, are opening and noticing men again.

My H brought me to tears with some of his words, but it's not that deeply intense pain as before. More of a cry for the nearing end of our M as it was...and possibly for good.