Had a wonderful evening with my friend. We sat and walked by Lake Ontario and then went out to dinner. I didn't blubber once. He listens and doesn't tell me what to do. I know that one day I feel one thing and the next something different. The one thing I have to keep in mind is that I don't have to decide anything right away. I have to process things. For so long I felt like I was on top of it all, I could handle it until the control and dependency stuff raised it's head. Now I have to process the fact that I am not Superman and cannot deal with endless stress. So I have to decide whether I think it's possible for her to contain her anal tendencies, whether I can control my pleasing tendency, whether I can handle the stress of the life she has to live, and do I have the energy to do any of it! Maybe I just want to be alone, who knows. Tomorrow it's the shrink and Friday the doctor for a sleeping pill fix. I'm thinking of approaching Pepsi to do a commercial for them "I loved Pepsi Max so much I gave up my relationship for it!" Could be big bucks in this for me. Enough for now.
