Do not let her back easy. She has to earn it. Read up on false recovery.

You must keep in mind that

1. She has no income.
2. She lost her job.
3. You got a new job , raise , flashy car.

Do not underestimate her here. You are in the land of 407 you both know if she sticks it out for 5 more years.... You Pay her for life when she pulls her next OM out of the hat.


DO NOT FOR ONE SECOND THINK. NO MY WIFE WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

Cause that got you where you are today.

This is reality my friend. And it could happen.

So if your wife wants to come back and work on it. Let her work hard at it. Let her offer what she thinks she needs to get back in the marriage.

Then Tell her what she really needs to do.

You have improved yourself. You are working on your issues.

What has she done besides cheat get dumped and become unemployed???

You were the option. And she needs to tag you to get that option back.

So do not be the option.

Be the one.

For if she wants to be your wife and best friend and lover.

She will work at it.

I would at minimal ask for

Full transparency.
All the details ( go as in-depth as you need here or surface ) of the affair.
Proof of no contact.
What will happen if contact happens.
Full AIDS, STD testing and results.
Her getting a full time job.
MC with a pro MC who knows about affairs and does not excuse them away.
Ownership on the Affair.
(Possible post nup for both of you if one of you has an affair )

Communication.

If its going to be a list of I do not like this about you... and you agree to that.... then come up with your list....


The anniversary. Yea. Just leave it.

If she calls and says anything. Just say. Under the circumstances of the past few months and your actions I decided that I would not celebrate it this year. I hope you can understand that.

Push it back.


And then keep moving forward. Keep repairing yourself and improving yourself.


If she wants you she will work hard to gain your trust , love , commitment and friendship. You will be able to tell when her actions match her words.

Do not let her back in first try.

Let her figure out she needs to work on her issues to make herself some one worthy of being married to.

Which at this point in her life I would say she is not marriage material.

Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!