Any chance to make it work? I need advice

[sweetbabyred]

RH, thanks for checking on me.

I kept with my boundaries and that led to H texting me on Sunday when he got back in town, asking if I was ok. I said of course, had no reason to contact him and knew he was busy with family. That led to him calling me and we spoke for a bit. He felt that I was distant, and said he was jealous that I was able to move on and be happy with myself and my life. Guess my “as if” act has been working!

He mentioned that his mom might want to stay with me next week to watch my SS while H is out of town. I love her, so I had no problem with that, but thought H might. I told him again that I could watch SS this week if he needed someone and he said he might need me Tues and Wed, but he'd try to do something else.

On Monday, I went to a friend's house for dinner and drinks. She's separated, with kids, so we have a lot in common. H called and texted me to see if I'd watch SS the next day. I texted back and said that was fine, but asked what time. He just kept asking me to call him, so I said I would when I left, but I was at a friends house. Less than 30 minutes later, he said never mind, he was going to bed and he'd make other arrangements! I swear, he loves that phrase, "make other arrangements".

My friend was as confused as I was and asked if H had wanted me to watch SS beginning that night. SS's mom had replied to one of my fb posts about having margaritas, asking if I was watching SS that night. So i don't know what H told her, but I replied and said I thought I'd have him the next day, but wasn't sure.

I left around 11 and texted back, telling him he could call me if he was awake. I ended up watching SS because of course, H hadn't made any other arrangements.

yesterday, H dropped him off and before he came to pick him up, asked if they both could spend the night. H said he was really stressed, and would feel better if we were all together. I told him that would be fine, but I expected him to be off the phone and not texting constantly since he was in my house.

H agreed, came over, and showed me a text he’d sent to a friend asking her not to contact him since she didn’t treat him very well. I said I didn’t want to know about it, but was glad he was being strong. Not 15 minutes later, she calls and texts, saying that she was hanging out with a guy and he tried to attack her. So, of course, H has to go save her, saying that he doesn’t want to be her friend, but can’t let her stay in danger. He is the type of guy to do that, so I just asked him to hurry up and drop her off.

Two hours later, he still hasn’t returned and I was a little annoyed because we were waiting to have dinner with him. He tells me she doesn’t want to be left alone, so he’ll come get SS and then take her home.

I’d told him last week that I did not want to hear about her and did not want her to know where I lived when he mentioned she might help him return a work vehicle that was parked at my place. So I was extremely p!ssed that he showed up with her. I am a very private person and live in a gated complex for a reason.

I didn’t want him to take SS and have him in the car with her, since she was so “emotionally traumatized” by the sitch. And I might have had a slight verbal altercation with her. (oops) I am the most laid back, easy going person ever, but when you cross my line, I’m not going to put up with it anymore.

H was understandably annoyed with my behavior and said he’d have to leave SS alone while he went to work and I couldn’t watch him anymore. By midnight, he’d dropped her off and was back at his place. And I now have SS to watch for today. He keeps threatening to keep SS away, but realizes that no one will take better care of him than I will. In less than two weeks he’ll be back in NY until Thanksgiving, so I’m just trying to spend as much time with him as possible.

I’ve realized why super heroes are usually single and don’t have many friends. It’s hard to be around someone who is always on call and might need to leave at a minute’s notice to save the world. Unless H can deal with his codependency issues I’m not even sure I’d be able to be his friend. Unless I have an emergency and am falling apart, I don’t ever think I’ll be a priority.

Sorry for the extremely long post. It’s been a crazy few days,but I'm doing okay and will make it through.